1183634221760266 discussing how to remove fear from the pornography conversation - Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)

Episode 93

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Published on:

14th Jun 2021

Fear Not When talking about tough subjects

Fear Not

Is it going to destroy your life if you drink a cup of coffee?  What if you have sex outside of marriage?  How about if you don’t eat meat sparingly and fruits and vegetables in the season thereof?


We think the more that we oppose something, talk about how bad something is, create and perpetuate fear around it, the more we will be able to keep people, including ourselves, from doing it. 


So, we often tell stories of designed to highlight the absolute worst thing that could happen to a person should they engage in a particular behavior that is contrary to the gospel.  


When it comes to things like pornography, modesty, alcohol, or really anything we are striving to keep our kids and family members away from.  


We tell the stories of the one person we know who did, you name the sin, and lost everything.  


So to help us stop doing that we are going to tap into 2 timothy ch1 v 7 to talk about how we can stop stigmatizing what we find morally wrong and start living more fully within the gospel that heavenly Father has given us. 


For God hath not given us the spirit of afear; but of bpower, and of clove, and of a sound mind.


Let’s start with power. 


I personally interpret this as agency.  We have the power to chose what it is that we feel is right.  Oftentimes, the fear side of things tells us that we are addicted, trapped, stuck.  When we talk about our struggles this way we disempower ourselves and others.  


To take back power, we must accept our agency.  Take responsibility for our choices.  Stop saying “can’t” should, shouldn’t.  


Let’s move to love


Charity and love go hand in hand, but they also are complimented by empathy and understanding. 


I’ve yet to meet anyone who didn’t prefer love to a story of doom and gloom about their behavior. 


Just because we don’t agree with a behavior, doesn’t mean that telling horror stories is going to keep people from doing it. 


Last – sound mind. 


This is probably one of my favorite things within the gospel and often it gets short changed because we like hearing dramatic stories of revelations and hero stories of great triumph. 


But a sound mind, to me means that we just need to use our brains and the logic and gospel principles that God has given us.  


We can figure things out.  we are pretty smart.  


The brother of jared comes to mind. He was sent back to come up with a solution.  Only the parts we aren’t able to do, like lighting the stones, are where the lord wants to intervene because he wants us to grow. 


 



Shame cannot survive being spoken, it cannot survive empathy,  brene brown.  

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About the Podcast

Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)
(Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast) This podcast is for Couples who want to overcome pornography. We teach you how to retrain your brain to completely quit pornography. If you are excited to move past pornography, this is the...
Learning to Thrive Beyond Pornography use was the greatest challenge of our life and marriage. It had rocked my self confidence, tainted all of the most important experiences of my life and become the most impossible challenge I had as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
With this podcast or at https://www.zachspafford.com you'll learn about the struggle, how to overcome pornography use, and where to find additional resources to begin to thrive beyond pornography with your spouse.
At some point I took a step away from all the 12 step meetings and councilors and started to figure out my own brain, to look at my issue as something that I had the answer to and I was going to figure it out. Here I share those lessons and give you the power to start your own journey free. Whether you struggle with unwanted pornography use or are the spouse or partner, whether you feel stuck or just don't know where to start, here I will teach you principles, tools and skills that you can use today to change how you think and, in the end, what you do.
You'll hear interviews with my spouse, with experts on human sexuality and with former and current pornography users on how you can overcome your own struggle with addictive behavior.
The Thrive Beyond Pornography podcast will bring new perspective to your struggle and keep you coming back to improve all aspects of your life. (formerly, The Self Mastery Podcast: Overcome Pornography Forever)
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About your host

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Zach Spafford

Zach Spafford is an Acceptance and Commitment Coaching, Be Bold Masters, and The Life Coach School trained life coach with over 25 years of experience with addictive behaviors.
He has been coaching in the business world for over 15 years and changing lives through increased productivity and achieved results.
Zach has a passion for making peoples lives better through helping them move past their addictive behaviors and becoming the people they want to be.