1183634221760266 Being home alone can be a start down the rabbit hole - Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)

Episode 103

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Published on:

22nd Aug 2021

Alone and NOT Afraid

Alone and Ok

-       For the first time in a long time, I’m alone at home.  

-       Some kids are with darcy at a playgroup, others are out running errands, one, I’ve just dropped off at work

-       There was a time when this would be a moment of struggle. 

-       When I would fight, with all my might to stay clean through this time. 

-       Being alone, with no one to catch me, was always a moment where my mind would offer me thoughts like,  “nows your chance” “no one will know”

-       As a business traveler, I found myself in hotel rooms alone often. 

-       It was a consistent pattern that I would end up, at some point, spending a few minutes at least and sometimes an hour or so, viewing pornography. 

-       Having 8 kids, there have been very few rare moments where I was strictly alone at home

-       So, on the road is where I would do it most often. 

-       Part of it was loneliness 

-       Part of it was boredom. 

-       Part of it was the idea that I could get away with something and the only person who would know was me. 

-       That last one is the one that really, in the end, made it so I stopped looking at pornography 

-       Last night I had a conversation with a client who was telling me about his ‘accountability’ partners. 

-       As he described them, various people, including his wife, he asked me, what my thoughts are on the software for accountability and accountability parnters in general

-       He also asked if there were a permanent filter that I know of that is free 

-       I told him, the only filter or accountability person that really ends up working, is your own brain. 

-       That is the only way I know how to truly end a bad habit. 

-       Is retraining our brains to no longer desire pornography, no longer follow the urges, and no longer ignoring our moral compass. 

-       That process is what I coach people on, how I help them to get to where they want to be.

-       That is how I got to the place I am now. 

-       Alone, in my house. With no one to catch me.  

-       Yet not even fighting with my urges in the slightest. 

-       Because, I could look at pornography if I wanted to. 

-       I’m allowed, by virtue of my agency to do so. 

-       But I choose not to, because the person I want to be, doesn’t

-       Not because there is a filter I couldn’t surpass

-       There is no free, permanent filter available. 

-       You get what you pay for

-       That’s why I do the work I do.  

-       I wish I had a coach that would have helped me through this process.   

-       Because so many of us, feel like we can’t be alone.  

-       We don’t trust ourselves. 

-       We aren’t yet capable of saying no when there is no other barrier. 

-       

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About the Podcast

Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)
(Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast) This podcast is for Couples who want to overcome pornography. We teach you how to retrain your brain to completely quit pornography. If you are excited to move past pornography, this is the...
Learning to Thrive Beyond Pornography use was the greatest challenge of our life and marriage. It had rocked my self confidence, tainted all of the most important experiences of my life and become the most impossible challenge I had as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
With this podcast or at https://www.zachspafford.com you'll learn about the struggle, how to overcome pornography use, and where to find additional resources to begin to thrive beyond pornography with your spouse.
At some point I took a step away from all the 12 step meetings and councilors and started to figure out my own brain, to look at my issue as something that I had the answer to and I was going to figure it out. Here I share those lessons and give you the power to start your own journey free. Whether you struggle with unwanted pornography use or are the spouse or partner, whether you feel stuck or just don't know where to start, here I will teach you principles, tools and skills that you can use today to change how you think and, in the end, what you do.
You'll hear interviews with my spouse, with experts on human sexuality and with former and current pornography users on how you can overcome your own struggle with addictive behavior.
The Thrive Beyond Pornography podcast will bring new perspective to your struggle and keep you coming back to improve all aspects of your life. (formerly, The Self Mastery Podcast: Overcome Pornography Forever)
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About your host

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Zach Spafford

Zach Spafford is an Acceptance and Commitment Coaching, Be Bold Masters, and The Life Coach School trained life coach with over 25 years of experience with addictive behaviors.
He has been coaching in the business world for over 15 years and changing lives through increased productivity and achieved results.
Zach has a passion for making peoples lives better through helping them move past their addictive behaviors and becoming the people they want to be.