Overcoming Pornography Takes Time - Just like your yard

I had a conversation with a friend of mine who while we are about the same age, he started his family well after I did.  His two kids are the same age as our youngest two kids.  We worked together in Wisconsin and each week when we returned to work on Monday he would ask me, “what did you do this weekend?”  My answer varied, but once I said, “I pulled weeds.”  I don’t remember anything about that particular weekend’s worth of activities, but my friend recalls the story and brings it up occasionally when we chat.  

It made me realize that one weekend's worth of work is often what we think lasting change looks like.  But in truth it is more like this: 

Last year we bought a house that we love, right next to the house that we used to own here in St George. 

When we bought it, we had some pretty big ideas about what we wanted to do.  We had a vision of what this property would look like when we had finished.  

We got to work, I cut down 20 or so cedar trees that were shedding harsh, thorny bits all over the yard.  We took out about 10 evergreen bushes that were both ugly and prickly.  We built a wall so our yard would extend 5 to 10 more feet in the back. I started to lay a stone path in the backyard so we could have a nice comfortable place for the kids to play.  

Then a back injury I received while playing football on Thanksgiving 2019 flared up and everything stopped. 

During that period, the yard didn’t change much, but my concept of what the yard needed to look like and how I wanted it to change did.  As I waited for my back to strengthen and heal, I kept thinking about how I wanted things to look in the yard.  

Things that I thought were certain changed and morphed and became something completely different.  As that evolution happened, I found that there were some new and awesome things that I loved about the way I wanted to do the yard.  These were things I didn’t even have any idea about when I started the process of updating the yard.  

While the new yard is far from complete, It is well on it’s way.  

For many of you, the process of overcoming pornography will be the same.  

As you listen to these podcasts and work on the things that you learn, you’ll have an idea of what it means to execute that skill.  Some of you will ask questions about it during open coaching in the Self Mastery Membership, others of you will discuss it with your partner, and some of you will think it through and just do it.  

As you go through episodes, ideas that you have will fade and you’ll move on to new concepts, adding them to your mind and letting them become a dominant force as you work to eliminate this unwanted habit.  

You may even stop listening for a while, stop doing the work, and stop trying the skills because a particularly difficult setback has made it tough to continue.   

All of that is ok.  What I hope you will remember is that, if you will come back to it when you’re ready, you will keep growing, keep succeeding, and eventually overcome pornography forever. 

That may sound simple or even naive, but it is the way I’ve seen things work for so many men and women.  They learn, they grow, they stop, they restart, and they do it again.  

Overcoming pornography is doable.  I hope you see it.